Why Emotional Unavailability Feels Like Connection
If you find yourself in relationships that are primarily with emotionally unavailable partners, you might have already asked yourself: Why do I keep doing this? You might tell yourself you’re bad at choosing, or that you’re missing red flags, or that somehow you attract the wrong people. Most of the time, however, chasing emotionally unavailable people isn’t about poor judgement, but how your nervous system has learned to recognize connection.
When Couples Therapy Feels Worse Before It Gets Better
If you’ve started couples therapy and feel like things are worse than before, you’re not imagining it. You’re not failing. Many couples enter therapy hoping that it will immediately calm conflict, restore a sense of closeness, or help them communicate better. Instead, sessions can oftentimes bring up arguments, raw emotions, and conversations that have been avoided for years. Suddenly, everything feels louder, heavier, and more unstable.
The Quiet Grief of Outgrowing Your Old Life
There’s a strange kind of grief that doesn’t get talked about much. It’s not dramatic, it doesn’t announce itself, and it doesn’t require funerals or casseroles or whispered condolences. It’s the grief of outgrowing a life that you once wanted so badly. Maybe you’ve had moments where you look around and thinking about how you should feel grateful, but somethings feels off. Or maybe you realize that the relationships, beliefs, routines, or identities that once fit your perfectly now feel just a little too small. You can make it work, but that too feels off. Constricting.
The Difference Between Coping and Healing
You’ve done the hard work of surviving. This might have looked like long nights, silent days, and uncertainty about what life looks like after everything has changed. You’ve read all the books, listened to all the podcasts, and tried shifting your routines, and maybe outwardly it appears as though you’ve got it all together. But sometimes, even after all the effort, you notice that you still feel stuck. You’re not falling apart, but you’re not free and thriving either. That’s the quiet in-between space where many people find themselves: where coping has done it’s job, but healing hasn’t begun yet.
Anxious Attachment or Anxiety? How to Tell the Difference and Begin Healing
It’s a common question I hear in therapy: “Is this just anxiety or something deeper?”
When your heart races after not getting a text back or you feel a wave of panic when your partner pulls away, it can feel impossible to tell. Anxiety and anxious attachment can look and feel like fear, overthinking, and emotional intensity. But, they grow from different places.
Conrad vs. Jeremiah: When a Shutdown Feels like a Rejection
If you’ve been following The Summer I Turned Pretty (like me), you’ve most likely had very strong feelings about the love triangle between Belly, Conrad, and Jeremiah. Some people root for Jeremiah’s open-heartedness and outgoing personality, while others feel pulled towards Conrad’s brooding intensity.
But what makes Conrad controversial at times, and yet so compelling, is his safety protocol of shut-down.
When Conrad gets flooded emotionally, instead of opening up, he retreats. He pulls away from Belly, leaving her hurt and confused, and questioning what she means to him. To someone on the outside, this looks like coldness or disinterest. But underneath, Conrad’s withdrawal is a defense mechanism… which is where fiction mirrors real life.
Is It Normal to Stay After Infidelity? What Therapists Want You to Know
When infidelity happens, your world might feel like it’s falling apart. You might find yourself between an overwhelming desire to leave and a voice in your head asking if staying is even possible. People around you might be quick to give you feedback - “once a cheater, always a cheater” or “you have to forgive if you want to move forward.” But the truth is far more complicated. It is normal to stay after infidelity? The short answer: yes. Healing and decision-making after betrayal don’t follow a linear path.
Why I Use Art and Music in Therapy - Even Virtually
Therapy isn’t always about the right words. Sometimes it’s about the feeling in your chest when a song hits the nerve you didn’t know was raw, or the way a color in a painting captures the ache you’ve been carrying and haven’t been able to name. That’s why I incorporate your experience of your favorite artwork or music artist, especially with clients who feel things deeply, are spiritually disoriented, or relationally stuck. These tools don’t replace talking, they deepen it.