Feyre, Nesta, and the Spectrum of Trauma Responses: An ACOTAR Deep Dive
*This analysis of fictional characters is for educational and entertainment purposes only. It is not a clinical diagnoses or professional assessment. Trauma and trauma responses are complex and individualized, and real-life evaluations require thorough context and consent. If you’re interested in understanding your own trauma or trauma response, reach out!
If you’ve read the A Court of Thorns and Roses by Sarah J. Maas series, you understand that the emotions in these stories runs deep: love, grief, rage, sisterhood, family, and the weight of survival. Beneath the battles and mates, there is something all of us can relate to on a human level: how trauma shows up. And as the story tells, Feyre, Nesta, and Elain all experience their trauma in a different kind of way.
Here, we’re focusing specifically on Feyre and Nesta, since we know the most about them. They are truly two sides of the same coin: experiencing trauma but internalizing and expressing it differently. They mirror real life trauma responses, which are fight, flight, freeze, and fawn. This isn’t about who expressed it correctly versus incorrectly, but how trauma protects, even when it makes us hard to be around.
Feyre: The Fawn and the Fighter
We meet Feyre when she is the primary provider for her family. She hunts for their food, sacrifices her time and safety, and endures much because she feels like it’s her only option. Her trauma response blends fawn (hyper-responsibility and caretaking) with fight (resourcefulness and aggression when cornered). Feyre is what some in the therapy world might call a functional trauma survivor. She appears capable, independent, and very powerful, but her distrust of rest and guilt when setting boundaries reflect nervous system activation.
Nesta: The Fighter and The Freezer
Nesta is the embodiment of fight when she feels powerless, and freeze when overwhelmed. She’s cold, cutting, and oftentimes dismissive, but as her story shows, it’s not because she doesn’t feel; it’s because she feels too much. In the moments where she let others in to see the real version of herself, she would become overwhelmed with emotion and regret. Her anger and silence is armor and shield. She is someone who is saturated with trauma, but has an emotional wall of defense. Instead of people-pleasing, she pushes everyone away. Instead of crying, she internally seethes. Nesta wasn’t apathetic, she was trying to survive.
Why This Matters
Part of why Sarah J. Maa's’s is so relatable and beautiful is how it reflects so many of our experiences: you can love someone and not understand their pain, and you can experience and survive the same situation but come out with different wounds and responses. This is often why sibling relationships can become so tense. One sibling might become the helper, where one becomes the scapegoat. One talks, and one disappears. The story is not always about how loved ones make it through together and live happily ever after, but maybe about making it through but barely survivng.
Healing Isn’t Linear
Watching Feyre and Nesta’s story unfold, specifically in A Court of Silver Flames, is a story about watching two trauma responses come to the table in different ways. When Feyre learns that she does not have to carry everyone, Nesta learns to let herself be carried. Feyre lets go of guilt, Nesta lets go of shame. Both learn that healing doesn’t mean becoming the same thing, but becoming whole in your own way.
Final Thoughts
If you’ve ever been in relationship with a Feyre or a Nesta, then maybe you’ve lived this kind of story too. And maybe, just like the two Archeron sisters, your healing is able letting the version of you that survived learn how to live.