When Couples Therapy Feels Worse Before It Gets Better
If you’ve started couples therapy and feel like things are worse than before, you’re not imagining it. You’re not failing. Many couples enter therapy hoping that it will immediately calm conflict, restore a sense of closeness, or help them communicate better. Instead, sessions can oftentimes bring up arguments, raw emotions, and conversations that have been avoided for years. Suddenly, everything feels louder, heavier, and more unstable.
The Quiet Grief of Outgrowing Your Old Life
There’s a strange kind of grief that doesn’t get talked about much. It’s not dramatic, it doesn’t announce itself, and it doesn’t require funerals or casseroles or whispered condolences. It’s the grief of outgrowing a life that you once wanted so badly. Maybe you’ve had moments where you look around and thinking about how you should feel grateful, but somethings feels off. Or maybe you realize that the relationships, beliefs, routines, or identities that once fit your perfectly now feel just a little too small. You can make it work, but that too feels off. Constricting.
The Difference Between Coping and Healing
You’ve done the hard work of surviving. This might have looked like long nights, silent days, and uncertainty about what life looks like after everything has changed. You’ve read all the books, listened to all the podcasts, and tried shifting your routines, and maybe outwardly it appears as though you’ve got it all together. But sometimes, even after all the effort, you notice that you still feel stuck. You’re not falling apart, but you’re not free and thriving either. That’s the quiet in-between space where many people find themselves: where coping has done it’s job, but healing hasn’t begun yet.
Sober but Still Numb: When Quitting Isn’t the Whole Story
At first, you expect sobriety to feel similar to waking up. The light is supposed to pour in, right? You might image early mornings with fresh energy and pride that carries you through temptation. And sometimes, it does start that way! But for many people, that light never fully arrives, or it fades too quickly. You wake up sober, but still feel detached. You’re clear-headed, but feel hollow. Life is sharper, but it doesn’t feel meaningful.
Anxious Attachment or Anxiety? How to Tell the Difference and Begin Healing
It’s a common question I hear in therapy: “Is this just anxiety or something deeper?”
When your heart races after not getting a text back or you feel a wave of panic when your partner pulls away, it can feel impossible to tell. Anxiety and anxious attachment can look and feel like fear, overthinking, and emotional intensity. But, they grow from different places.
Feyre, Nesta, and the Spectrum of Trauma Responses: An ACOTAR Deep Dive
If you’ve read the A Court of Thorns and Roses by Sarah J. Maas series, you understand that the emotions in these stories runs deep: love, grief, rage, sisterhood, family, and the weight of survival. Beneath the battles and mates, there is something all of us can relate to on a human level: how trauma shows up. And as the story tells, Feyre, Nesta, and Elain all experience their trauma in a different kind of way.