Why Emotional Unavailability Feels Like Connection
If you find yourself in relationships that are primarily with emotionally unavailable partners, you might have already asked yourself: Why do I keep doing this? You might tell yourself you’re bad at choosing, or that you’re missing red flags, or that somehow you attract the wrong people. Most of the time, however, chasing emotionally unavailable people isn’t about poor judgement, but how your nervous system has learned to recognize connection.
When Couples Therapy Feels Worse Before It Gets Better
If you’ve started couples therapy and feel like things are worse than before, you’re not imagining it. You’re not failing. Many couples enter therapy hoping that it will immediately calm conflict, restore a sense of closeness, or help them communicate better. Instead, sessions can oftentimes bring up arguments, raw emotions, and conversations that have been avoided for years. Suddenly, everything feels louder, heavier, and more unstable.
The Quiet Grief of Outgrowing Your Old Life
There’s a strange kind of grief that doesn’t get talked about much. It’s not dramatic, it doesn’t announce itself, and it doesn’t require funerals or casseroles or whispered condolences. It’s the grief of outgrowing a life that you once wanted so badly. Maybe you’ve had moments where you look around and thinking about how you should feel grateful, but somethings feels off. Or maybe you realize that the relationships, beliefs, routines, or identities that once fit your perfectly now feel just a little too small. You can make it work, but that too feels off. Constricting.
The Difference Between Coping and Healing
You’ve done the hard work of surviving. This might have looked like long nights, silent days, and uncertainty about what life looks like after everything has changed. You’ve read all the books, listened to all the podcasts, and tried shifting your routines, and maybe outwardly it appears as though you’ve got it all together. But sometimes, even after all the effort, you notice that you still feel stuck. You’re not falling apart, but you’re not free and thriving either. That’s the quiet in-between space where many people find themselves: where coping has done it’s job, but healing hasn’t begun yet.
Anxious Attachment or Anxiety? How to Tell the Difference and Begin Healing
It’s a common question I hear in therapy: “Is this just anxiety or something deeper?”
When your heart races after not getting a text back or you feel a wave of panic when your partner pulls away, it can feel impossible to tell. Anxiety and anxious attachment can look and feel like fear, overthinking, and emotional intensity. But, they grow from different places.
Why Hyperfixations Can Be Healing: Turning Passions Into Coping Skills
Have you ever found yourself diving deep into a hobby, TV show, or niche interest - so much so that it feels like your whole world for a period of time? That’s what many people call a hyperfixation. While the word is often associated with ADHD, autism, and neurodivergence communities, hyperfixations aren’t exclusive to any one group! In fact, they’re a completely human experience, and they can be fun, therapeutic, and even a valuable coping skills.
The Link Between Anxious Attachment and Self-Worth
When you care deeply about connection, it can feel like your entire sense of self is dependent on how others respond to you. If you have an anxious attachment style, you might recognize the push and pull of wanting closeness but also fearing rejection. It might often feeling like you’re “too much” or “not enough” depending on how those around you react.
Conrad vs. Jeremiah: When a Shutdown Feels like a Rejection
If you’ve been following The Summer I Turned Pretty (like me), you’ve most likely had very strong feelings about the love triangle between Belly, Conrad, and Jeremiah. Some people root for Jeremiah’s open-heartedness and outgoing personality, while others feel pulled towards Conrad’s brooding intensity.
But what makes Conrad controversial at times, and yet so compelling, is his safety protocol of shut-down.
When Conrad gets flooded emotionally, instead of opening up, he retreats. He pulls away from Belly, leaving her hurt and confused, and questioning what she means to him. To someone on the outside, this looks like coldness or disinterest. But underneath, Conrad’s withdrawal is a defense mechanism… which is where fiction mirrors real life.
Am I Having a Quarter-Life Crisis? Or Am I Finally Waking Up?
And still - there is something in your body that isn’t right. A quiet sense of dislocation. A feeling like maybe you’re living slightly adjacent to your real life.
This doesn’t mean you’re broken or something is wrong with you, but maybe that you are finally waking up.